ok so like, i owe whatever faithful fans i have left an update, no?
oh gosh, let me see, sooo much has happened since the wonders of Life, Shakespeare, and 20 year old girlfriends. gahh. I feel like i need to get quite a few things out of my clogged system. Like, every time something happens in my life, i keep telling myself "ohhh, this is SOO GOING IN THE LIVEJOURNAL THAT I DONT USE ANYMORE" and then, not suprisingly, it never does. *sigh*. It's a habit i guess, to think about updating the good ol' LJ. but whatever. i shall feed all of your hungry minds with the usless ramblings of my life.
where to begin, oh god...well i guess from oldest to newest, right?
well ok. firstly, im just gonna come out and say that i got the lead in the school play. not A lead. THE lead. and that's pretty much all i want to say on the topic, but i feel like i should explain myself a bit more, so i dont sound like a fucking cocky bitch, or whatever.
so the show is Into The Woods, you know, by Stephen Sondheim, blah blah, google it before you read any further if you have NO IDEA what im talking about. So yeah, anyway, i got the Witch, a role that has been played by the likes of Bernedette Peters and Vanessa Williams on Broadway. Very big shoes to follow, wouldnt you say? But anyway, i actually wanted to be Cinderella. but i was stupid. reeeally stupid. and i ended up singing a song that the Witch sings in the show because i thought it would really show off my range or whatever. Not because i actually wanted to BE the Witch. Too big of a role for me to handle. Besides, it was going to Aileen anyway.
so whatever, i sang my song...and to my utter shock, i was called back for the Witch....and then, i was actually CAST as the Witch. and like, it created an uproar of sorts. For the girls, this meant that i screwed everything up. The order that people had so delicately pre-casted was ruined. If i had been Cinderella, then Aileen would have been the Witch, Alikahn would have been Rapunzel, Haylee would have been Cinderellas mother, EmAnt would have been Jack's Mother, and Susanna and EmCode would have stayed as Little Red and Bakers Wife. However, they didn't factor in the thought that it was even humanly POSSIBLE for anyone to beat out Aileen, a most talent senior. And yet, i did just that. So like, i should be soo happy at this point, but all i can think about is that i fucked up the whole order of things. So yeah, there was some drama going on of course, which i'm NOT getting into now.
The point? well...i'm scared shitless. See...Aileen can handle something like this. and, as TOTALLY AND UTTERLY FLATTERED and estatic that i was to get the lead....i still don't think i'll be able to handle it. and i still don't think i really deserved it. But like, whatever, you know, i'm done dwelling. I'm happy for myself, i really am, but i also want things to be cool again between me and Aileen, because i looove that girl, and i dont want there to be this everlasting tension between us. and i dont want to be afraid that i wont be able to handle this role at the same time. So like, im done thinking about it, but im also not gonna "fuck 'em" as my dad tells me to do, just because i'm really not a selfish bitch like that. so whatever. i got the script already, and i highlighted my lines, and i hyperventilated, and felt that surge of guilt all over again, and now it's done, and i'm done, and i've let it soak in, and i'm just really ready to accept and move on and be happy.
so NOW for the moving on part...it's now WINTER BREAK and it COULDN'T have come at a better time. I've developed my usual yearly cold thing, of course. The bottom of my lungs are once again coated with a sticky fluid-like substance, my nose is stuffed to hell, and my throat is raw from the hacking up of the phlegm in my lungs, among other wonderful things. ahh...'tis the season.
so anyway, yesterday was the final Christmas Carolers session thing, singing at the Dolans in their absolutely beautiful house. So i was still sick, and it kind of hurt to sing, but lucky we got a break time to listen to Mrs. Dolan sing. I proceeded to make nice to Paco, some random 25 year old former Lubin student and christmas caroler, who took...ermm...a liking to me of sorts. I was sitting on the floor, and he was standing next to the bar, and the next thing i knew, he passed me down a glass of Bombay Sapphire on the rocks and smiled at me. So what did i do? well, i drank the stuff. Hey, he mixed it with a bit of Sprite, and i took my time drinkinig it. Plus i needed SOMETHING to get me through the ladys singing. yeesh.
so yeah, when she was done, we finished singing, me in a much better mood. Then afterwords, i introduced myself to Paco, and he found out i was 17 and looked kind of nervous and was like "oh WOW you could really pass for 21, you know?" i just laughed and was like "yeah i know, and dont worry im not gonna like, rat you out or anything" and he looked a lot happier after that.
So then the night turned interesting.
After grumbling over the cheapness of the Dolans payment (ok, 10 bucks, im SORRY, i dont mean to be stingy or ungrateful or anything, but c'mon...) i was like, "ok so howww am i getting home?" so after much begging, Phil agreed to take me (well, Paco asked if i needed a ride, but ummm, thats just too much for me, sorry.) but yeah, Phil had left his licence at home, and only agreed to drive me, his bro Robbie, Alikahn, Sus, Dave and Nick Turdo home because Mrs. Lubin was desperate. So he sighed and was like , "ok whatever" and i was like "oh come onnn, dont be scared, what could go wrong?"
so we get into his car, and we're all a little rowdy, and before i knew it, Phil accidently runs a red. And we're like "ok, we're good, no one saw"....and OF COURSE....we get pulled over. hah. i LOVEE irony, dont YOU?!
so Phil's like, shaking MADLY, and Susanna was like "GET YOUR SEATBELTS ON" and Nick and Dave, who were in the trunk were like "umm, wtf" and i was just like "oh goddd"...so the cop actually turns out to be GUZO, the same guy who pulled my bro over once before, and he's also the cop that comes into Starfucks every morning and leave a FAT tip. But anyway, this personal touch wasnt even needed, since Guzo remembered Phil fro a past encounter, and was just like "ehh...you're not drunk? Merry Christmas" and let us go. WOOOOT. i love jolly cops.
so yeah, shortly after that, we're on North State Road at the stop light recovering, when all of a sudden, we hear this HUGEE banging sound on Phil's trunk. It turns out to be HOWIE AND ERIC who had lept from their car right behind us in some sort of drunken rage, laughing madly and banging on Phil's car. i gotta say....SOOOO FUCKING FUNNY. so then we just keep driving, and they start to FOLLOW us, and they follow us to Dave's house, and drive right next to us, and stick their heads out the windows and laugh and holler and stick their tongues out and oh god we were all shreaking in laughter (or the girls anyway, lolol) it was just SOO FUCKING FUNNYYYY and like, ridiculously random. So yeah, they finally drove away, and then Phil dropped me off at my house, and RIGHT WHEN I STEPPED INTO THE DOOR my mom was like "SHES HERE, LETS OPEN PRESENTS!!"
see...in my family, we open presents on Christmas Eve. Dont ask me why, its a new tradition.
so we opened presents, me still in my concert attire and everything. I got my ipod nano and my Fantasy by Britney Spears, and my 50 bucks to Urban Outfitters, and my stocking full of goodies. And then, feeling very overwhelmed, i went upstairs, went on my computer, listened to my parents get into one of their BIGGEST fights yet (probably because my mother fought back this time in some sort of fed up rage), then went to bed. wowww.
so today (CHRISTMAS, HOLLERRR) my fam made the yearly pilgramage to mecc...New Jersey. Ohh, what fun. Actually it kind of was, haha. Going down to Jersey to see the fam is always good fun, they're just all so fucking out of their minds, its pretty cool. It's just awesome to see that everyone's main goal is to get as MAD DRUNK as possible, and in the end everyone is just in one big happy non-sober mood, including my parents. and i saw all of my little cousins because my family keeps popping out children like it's in their line of duty, and we opened presents, and laughed at the stories that made absolutly no sense, and ate awesome Italian food, and played video games and all that good stuff, so by the end of the night i was in a very good mood, and was chatting it up with EVERYONE (and usually when i first see my family, im reeeally timid and shy, but by the end of the night i just dont care anymore) and i played poker with the boys, and met my Aunt's son's new Portuguese wife's son FERNANDO, who was the HOTTEST CREATURE ALIVE OMG, and he didnt speak much English, but i didn't care because he was AMAZINGG and MY AGE he goes to a PERFORMING ARTS SCHOOL and oh gosh, when he hugged me goodbye by the end of the crazy night i was like "oh Fernando, dont let go of me with your BIG STRONG ARMS...." haha okok, but we're not going all spanish soap opera, so yeah, skipping the orgasm, it was still a very chill night. my fam = most excellent.
and oh GOD they're all coming up to New York in March to see me in the play. Now THAT'S going to be interesting to witness. My Aunt Mary Ellen is gonna fucking jump on the stage with pure excitement when i bow, i promise you. She was ESPECIALLY esctatic when she found out i got the lead, like she's such a proud aunty, it was really cute actually. Even Fernando and his mom are gonna come...mmmmm...how i long for his simple touch, for his strong, protecting Portuguese arms to wrap around me once again and...oh shit. god. im sorry. im done, i promiseee....
....and THATS IT. besides a few boy problems which im not getting into right now. suffer, mother fucker.
untill next time homiesss (and, hopefully my next entry will be fucking shorter than this one...but i HIGHLY doubt it ;-)
p.s- im sorry this wasnt in a cut, but i would have lost the really cool emphasis i put on certain words and sentences. heh. but if you read all of this anyway well then, i gotta say...that's just sad. peace outtt.